Injury report.

Ok, quick update everyone on the busted ankle and foot. I went to the doctor today and it’s a good news/bad news scenario. (A little more bad than good though)

Let’s start with the good news…My cast is off. It is nice to see my leg again. Unfortunately that is about it where the good is concerned.

Now for the bad, my ankle has no strength at all. It is almost harder putting weight on it now than it was right after injury. I know that physical therapy will give me that strength back but seeing as I am alone here with the kids all day I am scared of a reinjury. Thankfully they gave me a brace that I can use with an athletic shoe. I know this isn’t permanent but I am currently filled with all kinds of anxieties

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Moving on to the second part (and maybe the more significant part) is my left foot. Now originally my right ankle was a much more severe injury hence why it was in a cast and my foot was just in a boot. However, now it seems that my right ankle has healed pretty much completely and my left foot hasn’t healed at all in the last 4 weeks. Now, that is not good as I am sure you have realized. The doctor said she is going to try and get me a bone stimulator. I suppose that will help speed up my recovery? She said if that doesn’t work and I am still having issues 4 weeks from now (that will be my next appointment) then we might have to look into surgery. That S word scares me. I can’t even describe how much this scares me. I guess all I can do is hope for the best.

I am so happy that I am on the down slope of my recovery but I have a lot of anxieties. I am scared of reinjury. I am scared I am going to step on a stray toy or a toddler will get under foot or I will fall over my own feet and break it again. Not only will I be in pain again (the memory of that pain still makes me catch my breath) but I will be useless to my family once again. That is a huge fear for me. With my ankle so weak right now I am actually scared to be alone. It’s just really stressful.

The there is the idea of surgery...ahhh!!!! That is me screaming on the inside in case you were wondering. I can't even find the words to describe how that will mess things up for me.

I am going to try and be positive but right now…in this moment…it’s hard.